I’m back at high school but as a grown woman – and about 30 kg lighter than I am now. I’m in class, sitting next to a girl I went to high school with.
I always wanted to be this girl’s friend but she treated me so badly that it still scars me to this day. This girl was smart, popular and the school captain but nobody realised how much of a bully she could be until school had finished. Now her school friends are no longer friends with her. Back to the dream though…
We are in class, being taught by my TAFE teacher (who has taught me for the last 2 years) and who is my favourite teacher. It’s the last day of school. This girl and I have lunch together because there aren’t many people at school today. I look good and I know it.
I am trying to avoid my boyfriend from grade nine (whom I met up with again last year and had a relationship with for a few months). In my life right now, I am still trying to avoid him as he can’t let go of the relationship and constantly texts me etc.
He’s not there though; another group of high school boys is sitting where he used to be. I breathe a sigh of relief because I don’t want any drama although I kind of wish he was there because I look awesome in my jeans and white shirt (a classic look in my book).
And that’s the end of the dream.
There’s a recurring theme of seeking approval in your dream but thanks to the flexibility of the space/time continuum in dreamland, your younger school self is blessed with the wisdom of your current years.
Although, you know this girl is a bitch, you want her to want to be your friend. Although, you’re done with your grade nine boyfriend, you still want him to want you. So even though you now know these people aren’t good for you, a part of you – your younger insecure high school self – still seeks their approval.
Closely tied to this need for approval is your desire to lose weight. The insecurity you felt in high school is similar to the insecurity you now feel about your appearance. Healing that insecure high school part of yourself will help you reach your current health and fitness goals.
Do something to release the past: For example, light a candle and write a letter to the popular girl and to your grade nine boyfriend. Pour all your anger, hurt and mocking into those letters and then *in a non-flammable area* use the candle to burn the letters. As the letters go up in flames, visualise all the negative emotions going up in smoke.
Remember to appreciate all you’ve learnt since high school. You can recognise people of true value (such as your TAFE teacher) and you don’t need the approval of others to know that you are awesome. And, most importantly, you’ve survived the 80s revival with your timeless sense of style intact.